"If you feel you're in total control ...

... then you are not going fast enough!!!"
Mario Andretti
"If your life is anything like the show 'Girls', please kill yourself."
"What am love?"
Justin McElroy
"What am love?"
Good question: The answer ...

“She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright,
Meet in the aspect of her eyes...”
Lord Byron
“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered,

There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
Stephen King, Storm of the Century
Gender Politics Isn't Fact, It's a Feeling and Quite Frankly, Barking.
Janice Atkinson, MEP
“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols
"Everything works until it doesn't."
US citizens that make up just four percent of global population account for more than 20 percent of global [toilet] tissue consumption.
Natural Resources Defense Council

In a White House press conference held in Quebec, after the 1944 conference, Winston Churchill dodged a leading question: “What do you think of the United States?” by replying: “Toilet paper too thin, newspapers too fat.”
"If I could start again/A million miles away/I will keep myself/I will find a way"
Employee A: Hi, what department do you work in?
Employee B: BDSM
From a teeshirt

Did you know that if you take every capillary, artery and vein from a human and stretch them out end to end.....it is really gross.
Strange humor website
"A ho never gets cold."
Cardi B

"First of all don't round up. If you're going to round, round down. I don't count years but I definitely rebuke them - I have anniversaries, not birthdays because I celebrate life, darling,"
MC (Mariah Carey)

Y’all could guess what day it is for muahhh
"Mein Fuhrer!

...I can walk!"
Dr. Strangelove, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"
Don't allow yourself to lose sight of you with other ppl's shit. You'll end up like nick carraway from the Great Gatsby
I fucking hated that book. I hated The Awakening too. And Rebecca.
i don't like it either but for some odd reaosn my head went there
Why doesn't Microsoft sort the trash?
"You shouldn't uh sucked the nigga dick for free."
That black lady from that Vine