Things were better with my girlfriend those last weeks, she told me she felt better, but...
Yesterday we had the same discussion, she wants to leave me.
I'm so sad today, I want to fix everything with the strenght I still have, but I don't know... I always have the phrase "I don't know what to do" in my head, for months.
I haven't eaten all day.
I'm hungry but at the same time I don't want to eat.
I feel disgust in me. These days when I'm sad I feel like throwing up.

She comes back in 3 days, I hope everything will be fine and that she will realize that she doesn't want to leave me now that we see each other again.
I hope with all my heart that everything will be for the best, because my life will never be good without her.
I feel like I am in the worst possible situation.
I am at home and I have not spoken to anyone for 2 months.
I want friends, but at my age (26 years old) I don't know how to do it. "Hey do you want to be my friend?" wouldn't work. And I don't want pity.

I thought I knew what depression was last year, but today I am deeper into the abyss.
And I'm afraid of being even more depressed next year.
"I don't know what to do..."